This week was SO much fun. It was amazing. I laughed harder than I have in a long long time, all thanks to Will, Matt, Cassie, Amy, and my lurvey Cortney, plus some more! We had lots of adventures in Blue Ridge. Seriously, this week was exactly what I needed. I am going to miss everyone that worked the band camp with me. We really got so close! I also met so many new people. Cassie was the best roommate ever! Julie was pretty neato cool...secretly. lol. Will and I had a nice drive up to Blue Ridge and yum yum, Arbies.

Mambo.

The Village was good. Cortney and some other people didn't like it. But it was really good, especially after we got to make fun of it for a while. I did scream. I admit. I am a complete failure at life. Or just scary movies.

I miss all of you!

You guys were what I needed to keep me strong.

Ok... I had to update again.  Peter Cincotti will be in Georgia twice this year.  I must get tickets.  He will be at ATL Symphony Hall once... it's going to be tough to get tickets to that one I think.  The next one is at the Thomasville Cultural Center in January.  If that is a fairly small venue, I am going to freak out if I get tickets.  I hope this works out!  He is so good.  Another plus to New York- everyone is always on tour in New York.  I'd be listening to Cincotti live as we speak.  Oh well, night!

all people have secrets... life would be boring without secrets, don't you think?
 
So... I just watched a documentary on M. Night Shyamalon.  He directed the Sixth Sense, Signs, and Unbreakable.  it was SO GOOD.  Apparently it was supposed to be some true footage, proving that shyamalon has more secrets than most people.  Footage proving the existence of an "other side."  Hmmm... kind of sketchy.  But I am a sucker for good ghost stories, and this was one good ghost story.  Johnny Depp was in it.  Adrien Brody too.  The whole time you feel like it's fake; it has to be fake.  But the fun part is thinking it's not.  Isn't that why we all watch scary movies?  The "what if."  Lol.  However, the last time I watched a "scary" movie, I had a very traumatic experience.  I will never watch 28 Days Later again.  Ever.  But I could be convinced to go see The Village.
 
I highly suggest watching the "documentary."  If there's any hint to it's weirdness (and its validity), it airs on the Sci Fi channel.
 
Tomorrow starts the band camps.  Yay.  You might not see me or talk to me for a while because I will be consumed in teaching little people how to play saxophone and sometimes how to move their feet at the same time. 
 
Haircut soon I think.  Big surprise.
 
Love, kids.  Later

I say so many things that i don't mean to say; that come out
wrong. Everything, in fact... I am not very good at communication
when I am stressed out. Then I get upset because I feel
amazingly, profoundly stupid. More than any of you will ever
know. It's hard to be able to put everything down on paper and
then, when i speak, it's like no words come out at all. If I
could just press pause sometimes, and rewrite and edit and submit some
sort of presentation... that would work much better for me than just
talking.



I don't have regrets... I really don't. I do however regret that i never learned how to talk... that sucks. Hah.



I don't understand a lot of things in life right now; it's like I woke
up one day and God decided to play a joke on me where red was blue and
night was day. Home doesnt feel like home, school doesnt feel
like school. I don't know where I'll be in ten years, two years,
next semester. I don't remember what's right and
wrong. Seriously... do you ever think about the things you do,
and remember when there was such a line between right and wrong in
kindergarten? I am not sure anymore. The things I do are
right to some people and wrong to others. Finally I am getting to
the point where I know I can't make everyone happy, and that I only
have to answer to me and God. But Lord knows I am trying.



I am going through a major point in my life right now. It's one
of those summers where I am going to come out completely
different. I don't sound like me, I don't think like me. I
don't even know who I am right now. Don't know what I want.
Need a change... a huge change in my life. Goodness, I miss my
friends right now.... all of them.



I don't know what it is that I am looking for, or what I need right
now. But I am not finding it here. I need more than
this! I need more out of life!!! And I will have more out
of life... I'm the one that has to do something about it. I
can't depend on others to be what I need for a fabulous life.
That's unfair to everyone. My friends and family are what makes my life incredible, but i shouldn't depend on them for that.



Time for me to make something out of my life. I will move
to New York, I will work for the life I've always dreamed of, I will
find all the things I need, and the whole time, I will have faith in
God. There is a greater purpose to everything. Everytime
that I have felt otherwise, I have been proven wrong, without a
doubt. And here's a little known fact about me- I have almost
never been mad at anyone, except for myself. If I have gotten
upset with you, it is probably just a projection of me wanting to do
better for you, for everyone. Especially recently. And I
will do better. I fix it; I always do. Just wait... you'll
see... ;) When I fail, I get mad. And that's the only time
I am really ever that mad. I don't get mad at others when they
fail, just myself.



I am so complicated. Makes for good stories I suppose.
Makes it hard to order at a restaurant though. Oh well.
.....



No regrets......... promise.



And if you ever stop to wave goodbye

You jsut might find if you give it time you will wave hello again

Youjust might wave hello again



And that's the way this wheel keeps working now

that's the way this wheel keeps working now



You can't love too much one part of it

You can't love too much one part of it



I believe that my life's gonna see

The love I give returned to me




~John Mayer

Ok seriously I am addicted to VH1's I love the 90's.  This is ridiculous.  Also addicted to shoes, of which I bought two pair today.  Must find places where I can wear them.   Lindsey, you think YOU got crazy shoes.  Ok, yours are crazier.  Must admit. 
 
Hmm.... soo.... my life is boring right now, but I am SO excited about school.  I might take a ballet class!!  AHH!  That would make me so happy!  Also want to be more adventurous.  Plan to try lots of new things.  Already worked on that this summer! :)
 
Changing my life COMPLETELY.  This is great; I am actually working towards the things I've spent my whole life thinking about.  Well, now's the time. 
 
I can't wait for:
~New house! and more than that, my roomies!!!
~Cort & Amy & the crew & friends reruns!! 
~classes!  ballet i hope!
~the unexpected!
~john mayer/maroon 5 concert!
~Florida!
~my new high heels
~hopefully getting a parking spot, lol
~SEEING LINDSEY AGAIN
~football!! 
~playing the first battle hymn for the year
~pregame
~cranium/monopoly/cards at the trumpet house (haha!)
~Inoko Express... lol... also Coldstone Creamery
~Spring Break
~Christmas in New York (?!?!?) surprise surprise ... ;)
~no more meal plan!
~cookouts!
 
oh my goodness, i can't even write it all down... i miss all of you guys SO much!  :) 
 
these next three weeks are going to be crazy.  and i mean crazy.
 
love love!

Display on phone just broke. boo. still useable, however.

So, I got a really weird and spontaneous job offer today. It was crazy!

Lindsey needs to come home soon.

There is no chocolate in my house.... not good.

Best thing ever = I Love the 90's on VH1. Yes, I am ridiculous. I just like to watch all these C list celebrities (and john mayer) make fun of everything we did 10 years ago. Michael Ian Black. sweet.

So... next semester will be completely different. I can't even begin to explain here.

Goodnight...

*Peanut*

Thanks girls, for a great night! Hmmm, Chili's, anyone??? Oh my....

Hey all you anonymous commentors out there, what is the fun if I don't know who is commenting?!? no more anonymous! Leave names! Thanks. :)

And to close, Swati's favorite response: "Oh death"

goodnight.




*Finally, a great day*

Good Grief.

I just want my darn life back. I want Athens back, I want my friends all the way it used to be. I want home to be back at 5435 Wedgewood Court. I want Sweetie to still be around (Scarlett too). I want Lindsey to live 5 minutes away from me. I, oddly enough, miss the second semester of calculus. I wish I didn't have to do the things I do now, I want to not have to fix the things I have to fix.

Most of all, I just want my best friends. I think God must be teaching me something big; I just can't see it yet. The one summer when I think I need people the most, is the summer when I feel like I am a million miles away. I don't want to fight, I hate fighting, and I don't want the people close to me to fight. I am tired of everything.

You know what, I am sorry that you guys read the bad journal entries too.

Good things about this summer:
learned how to play golf
getting a tan
the lake w/cort jess and amy
helping lindsey pack for europe
seeing laura at camp
lots of good movies
ice cream
scarlett
savannah next week
seeing my brother and my mom and dad and grandma...

best part about this summer:
its almost over


i am sorry if i have seemed distant to everyone. i dont know why, i just feel displaced and not myself lately. i am tired of fighting so hard for so many things, exhausted really. but home is no place to recover; not right now. so i am tired and weak with no rest, and trying to figure out how to stay strong and make it through these last weeks. i need someone to make me laugh, please... i need someone to hug me. I just need my friends. If I was never good at telling you, I love you guys more than anything and miss you.

Please, God, let there be people out there. Let life be ok again. Let me breathe. Please.

This weekend was great. Jessie and I drove to Cortney's house up in Blue Ridge. She lives on a lake, and we all went tubing and knee boarding and all sorts of things. It was awesome and I loved it. It was so good to see Cort and her family, and Amy came for a while too! Then we stopped by to see Laura at camp on the way home, and it was great to see her.

Somehow though, i just can't get away.

And I don't know where you went when you left me
Says here in the water you must be gone by now
I can tell somehow
One hand on the trigger of a telephone
Wondering when the call comes
Where you say it's alright
You got your heart right

Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on the porch til you come back home
Oh, right
I can't find a flight

We share the sadness
Split screen sadness

John Mayer

This Journal Entry is dedicated to Doug, for being cool.

All you kids out there running the Peachtree tomorrow: wow, you are amazing. I ran to my car when it was raining the other day. And... well... that's about it. Yeah so good luck, get some really cool t-shirts!

Happy Fourth of July tomorrow wooo! I am going up to Blue Ridge with Jessie. That should be so much fun and a very welcome break from this past week. Plus a long drive in the mountains would be nice. Makes me think of the drives to and from Gatlinburg on spring break. That was so much fun! Man I still have a free putt-putt pass for the place in Gatlinburg because of my short range golfing mastery. (Sarcasm AND a completely made-up word, amazing).

Ok, so I bought Anna Karenina by Tolstoy today, but get this, it was an Oprah Book Club book. That sort of makes me mad, that it is on the best seller list NOW just cause she says so. But at the same time, if she can get people to read good books, then go Oprah go. She got it to be on sale, so in that case, I suppose I am not too terribly upset.

Man I am really hungry.

Ok so this next year is going to be completely different from the past two years for me. I have set my mind to something I have been thinking about for two years. I just have to get up the courage to do it! But besides that I am so excited about the house, and new people, and old people, and lots of other things. Every semester so far has been drastically different for me, and I like it. It's nice to be able to expect something different. I still have a lot of things to do in my life. so many things. And so many things to see. It's good to be young. I forget that much too often.

I will go to Europe within the next two years. Not an option.

Attempted to learn some guitar last night. That will take so much practice but somehow I don't mind. We'll see how that turns out.

Good grief, stupid channel 2 action news!!!!!

I miss Athens, happy fourth of July, and good night. !

Molly