In the words of Ron Burgundy, "That's amazing, I'm not even mad!"
I write, finally, at the request of one Laura H. and Meghan V. The following events are a true story. The names have not been changed.
It was Friday, February 25, 2005, about 10:00 PM. Laura, Meghan and I were walking from north deck to Coldstone Creamery for some well deserved ice cream. We crossed Broad and had been downtown for no more than 20 seconds when I hear this SMACK and I jump in the air. Laughing, I turn to Laura and say "Why did you just slap my butt????"
Laura looks at me blankly and says "That was definitely not me."
I turn around, and lo and behold! Some guy is running down Broad in the opposite direction from me. That's right. I got spanked. Hit and run.
I tried to be mad, but as the title of this entry foreshadowed, I laughed so hard I cried. Man, I got seriously smacked. Not just love tap or pinch, but BAM. It was loud. Laura and Meghan and I tried to make it to Coldstone but we could hardly walk we were laughing so hard. For some reason I turn around, and the guy is right behind me again. Not like ten feet behind me, but suspiciously close. I said "Dude, not cool..."
Him: "Sorry... but I got paid ten bucks to do it..."
Me: "You owe me five. Seriously. Pay now."
He did not pay.
Recap: I got spanked, he made a profit, my butt is worth the exact amount of ten dollars, and then Meghan bought my ice cream. Then Meghan made me ring the victory bell. I have never had a more random night. Sometimes I wish I could film parts of my life, because it would be the weirdest movie ever.
I should have just kicked him in the face. Lol, but it was too funny.
If you see a fairly attractive guy on campus with a green baseball shirt, tell him I expect ten dollars ASAP. And then please kick him in the face.
And nothing else I could write in here compares to that story. If there ever was an entry to comment on, this was it. Hit and run spanking. Unbelievable.
3 Comments:
From a dude who suffers from what a "friend" once called "Grand Theft Booty," perhaps you can perceive this incident as a source of pride for apparently being worth the risk. As yet, no one has come up to me and slapped my musical ability or personality.
I used to get the "butt touch" which is somewhere between a slap and a caress. You should feel lucky that your butt is worth $10, mine is like 10 cents...or maybe 50 cents (get it, 50 cent...). Anyways, my complements to you on your nice behind. I too have wanted to pop it on several occasions and then felt that it might be a little inapproptiate.
ok, so here's what you do. you start wearing a bear trap in your pants. then, when somebody tries it again, BAM!
but man, that is pretty funny. I think i'd have paid ten buck for you to go kick his face. That have been pretty funny. Especially if he was still trying to get the rest of the money for the more than likely second bet. There would be this funny showdown of who would win.
-Sam
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