Lol wellll.......

Ok so Gatlinburg was sooooooooo much fun with Cortney and Jessie! and John (for like an hour)! We did such dorky touristy stuff and have soooooo many funny stories. Most of which happened in the first hour of our vacation. Awesome. I will, however, regain my title as mini-golf champion of the world....

I get to see lindsey tomorrow i think! I hope! I havent seen her in forever... i miss her so much! We're back in lilburn... who knows what will happen! ;)

Man ok sorry my journal sounds like crappy 12 year old journal today... (Some of you might say "how is that different from every day?" or "you ARE 12".... but you suck if you thought those comments to yourself)

Spring Break next year... New York. Life in two years... New York. I hope. If i can get a scholarship or write a novel between now and then. Hmm... right.

Ok so lately I can't sleep a whole lot... I spend a lot of time just layin in bed thinking about stuff and not being able to find the "quiet in my mind" (thanks john mayer). I think it is because so much is happening right now in my life. I am so ready to be free from classes... core classes especially, but classes in general. I am tired of being tested, tired of being held on other people's standards. I feel like college is just an altered extension of high school and i just wanna do my own thing. Frankly, for the first time in my life, I dont care if I make an A in Marine Bio or Econ. I HATE those classes and I am working hard, but holy cow that is NOT what life is about. I am so tired of having to chain myself to grades and projects and homework because it really doesnt matter. I mean, I see how it gets me from point A to point B. But I think in 50 years... next year... tomorrow... I am going to be much happier with a memory I have than a 93 on a theory assignment.

Which brings me to this summer. Ok logically it makes more sense for me to stay at home and work at the law firm again this summer.... spending my days in a cubicle (yeah, no lie...) being completely and utterly miserable. If you could see all the poems and stories I have written on post-it notes and legal pads from that office, you would be amazed. It pays well, but I dont know if I can handle it. Its in the same genre as classes... But if I dont work there, then what? I have almost completely decided against Europe... i just can't this summer. I'd LOVE to live in athens, maybe take classes, definitely get a job... but just be on my own for a while. A summer with almost no ties, a summer of complete freedom, a summer of fending for myself and seeing what I can do on my own. Maybe getting a lot of writing in. That would be simply amazing. And if I did that I could still come home whenever I wanted... I would just have my own place and wouldnt have to move all my stuff back home for two months. The only problem with that is finding a job. And... I've never lived alone. I admit its sort of a scary concept. If ANYONE knows of a good job in the athens area, let me know. That would be amazing.

Anyway, I guess I should go attempt to sleep... and by that I mean I am about to go watch Robin Hood (yes disney version) and various other movies. Why cant I sleep????

Maybe cause I can't stop smiling...