Dream job # 17

To own a small bookshop in New York, or some city anywhere. A bookshop that carries all the best classics and and is only small in atmosphere, because I want to feel like I'm in a small town while I'm in a big city. Why not just live in a small town? Sure, but when you feel that in a big place, then you feel the humanity of it, the honesty of it, and the small inkling in your mind that perhaps at some point in everyone's life, they feel as if they want to live in a small town. Except people who want to escape themselves. So I guess I am a mix of all these things because I want to live in New York for a while, or Paris, but I dont want to grow old there I don't think. I think I want to live somewhere small and it has to have a dirt road. On the way back to Athens tonight I passed a small dirt road and I wanted to drive down it so much. I could see its end in the distance at a plantation style house, and it reminds me of something from a long time ago but I can hardly remember what. I just remember a dirt road that my family used to always drive down when I was 3 or 4, but I can't remember where it goes.

If I lived in 1875, I would fit in completely... I decided that I don't do well the way things work right now. I think (daydream) too much and too often and so I end up not paying attention to every little detail, which I've decided is what you need to do today. The details are what get people ahead. And for some reason I have to work really hard to notice the details and be observant. Well, I need to be more specific ont his subject. I notice "people" details.... I notice everything about people. But I dont notice other details. I couldn't tell you where the color of the carpet in my room at home. Ok I could, but that's the sort of detail that escapes me. Anyway, maybe the details I notice will help me somehow.

Actually, I know those details will help me. Although I have no idea where I will be working in ten years, or even what I am doing, I do know what my purpose is right now. I feel that every skill God has given me is for the purpose of supporting and helping other people. I just dont how yet. Eventually, on top of supporting lots of people, I think there is going to be one person I will support fully. Perhaps that is an anti-feminist statement, but its a true statement of what I feel, which would make sense since i wouldnt label myself as a feminist. Anyway, just thoughts. I'm sure they will be elaborated on or edited often. But for now, that's it.

Time to study... or avoid thinking about other stuff.