I wish I could numb myself; I wish I was ok with going and getting drunk. I wish i didn't care, I wish I could live life like everyone else. I wish I didn't have everyone else in the world telling me what is good for me, and no one caring to hear what I think is good for me. I wish I didn't believe in love. I wish I didn't have high standards. I wish I knew how to be plain and simple. I wish I didn't care. I wish i believed in all the things i used to believe in. I wish i wasn't jaded. I wish things were as easy for me as they are for others. I wish i wasn't so angry. I wish i wasn't so upset with myself. I wish i could take back a million things. I wish that someone, anyone could just make me feel better. I wish i could just have a hug. I wish nothing mattered. I wish things worked out for me for once in my life. I wish all the words made sense to me in my heart, but they don't, and i don't know how to fix that. I wish laura and lindsey were here. I would give anything for them to be here. I wish it wasn't today. I wish I didn't need the things I need. I wish I wasn't forgetable. I wish you weren't mad at me for this journal entry. I wish i wasnt mad at the whole world. I wish i could fast forward to deep into next year. I wish anything could make me feel better, but nothing does, nothing will. I wish i wasn't broken.